Reconnecting with your emotions after dissociation
Many people feel disconnected from their emotions at some point, especially if they’ve lived through trauma, stress, or long periods of “numbing out.” Dissociation isn’t weakness; it’s the mind’s way of protecting us. But when the time comes to reconnect, we can learn how to feel again.
Dissociation is the mind’s way of protecting us when life feels too overwhelming, frightening, or painful. It creates distance from thoughts, feelings, memories, or even from the body itself.
It might look like:
Feeling “numb” or disconnected.
Watching yourself from outside your body.
Having gaps in memory.
Going through the motions without “being there.”
This is not a weakness. It’s an instinctive survival response. The nervous system chooses dissociation when it believes it’s the safest option.
Dissociation and the 6 Instinctive Survival Responses (GAPS)
The GAPS model (a way of framing survival instincts) identifies six core responses our body/mind can use in overwhelming situations:
Fight – Confronting or attacking the threat.
Flight – Escaping or avoiding the danger.
Freeze – Stopping, becoming still, hoping the threat passes unnoticed.
Fawn – Appeasing or pleasing the threat to stay safe.
Attach/Cry for Help – Reaching for connection, hoping someone will protect us.
Submit/Collapse – Giving up resistance, becoming passive to survive.
Where Dissociation Fits
Dissociation often blends with several of these responses; it’s not just one. For example:
Freeze + Dissociation: Feeling numb, unable to act, mind going blank.
Collapse + Dissociation: Shutting down, body heavy, mind drifting away.
Fawn + Dissociation: Disconnecting from your own needs/feelings to keep others happy.
Flight + Dissociation: Escaping “inwardly” when you can’t run outwardly.
In short, dissociation is the mind-body’s escape hatch when direct action (fight/flight) isn’t possible, and it often overlaps with freeze or collapse. It’s a brilliant adaptation - meant to protect you.
Why This Matters for Healing
When people realise dissociation is an instinctive response, not a personal flaw, they can approach healing with compassion rather than shame. The same system that learned to disconnect can also learn to reconnect - with gentle, patient practice.
The most empowering truth is this: anything you’ve learned, you can unlearn. Just as your mind and body learned to shut down emotions for safety, they can also learn how to open back up - with patience, practice, and self-compassion.
Why Reconnecting Matters
Emotions are information. They tell us when we need rest, boundaries, love, or change. Without them, life feels muted. Reconnecting helps us feel alive, authentic, and whole again.
A Gentle Step-by-Step Daily Practice
This simple routine (10–20 minutes a day) can help you slowly reawaken your connection to feelings:
Step 1 – Ground in the Body (2 min)
Sit quietly. Notice your feet on the ground.
Take 3 slow breaths, paying attention to the rise and fall of your chest.
Gently press your hands together, feeling the contact.
Step 2 – Notice Sensations (3 min)
Scan your body from head to toe.
Where do you feel tension, warmth, or heaviness?
Don’t judge, just notice.
Step 3 – Label the Feeling (3 min)
Ask: “What emotion might be connected to this sensation?”
Use broad labels at first: calm, anxious, sad, happy, tired, restless.
If unsure, simply say: “Something is here.”
Step 4 – Express (5 min)
Write one sentence in a journal: “Right now, I feel…”
Or doodle, hum, or stretch, letting your body express itself.
Step 5 – Practice Self-Compassion (2 min)
Place a hand on your chest.
Say softly: “It’s okay to feel. I’m learning. This takes time.”
Reconnecting with emotions is like warming up a frozen limb: it tingles, it may feel strange, but slowly, sensation returns. With consistency, your inner world becomes richer and more alive.
Be patient. Be kind to yourself. And remember, what was learned can always be unlearned.
