Focus on where you want to go, not where you have made mistakes or what you fear.

One of the most common things I find myself talking about is the importance of focusing on what you want in life, where you want to be and what you want to achieve. All too often, we waste time and energy focusing on all the past events, that have usually gone wrong. Or we tie ourselves up in knots about the future that we cannot predict.

“Yesterday is not ours to recover but tomorrow is ours to win or to lose.” - Lyndon B. Johnson.

The ability to draw a line under our mistakes of the past and focus purely on where we are right now and where we want to be is a skill. Not engaging in the what if’s of the future is a skill. Both are often underused and underrated.

I feel a bit of a fraud writing this, it took me a long time to learn how to let go of the regrets of the past, I was a pretty good ruminator of past negative memories and emotions. I was also pretty good at catastrophising the future, especially in social situations. But now I have learnt and practised these skills daily, I guess I can elevate myself to a place of knowing ‘how’ to change it.

So if you find yourself spending way too much time reflecting negatively on past events, know two things.

You cannot change the past.

You’ll waste a huge amount of energy in trying to do so:

If you find yourself with a mind full of all the future events that could possibly go wrong, know two things:

You don’t have a crystal ball.

Deal with it IF it happens.

These were my go-to responses whenever I caught myself musing about the past or panicking about the future.

So how do you focus on where you want to go and stop focusing on the regret or the fear?

Ask yourself these questions, daily (you don’t have to use all of them, pick your favourite 2-3 and use those)

1. What am I happy about right NOW?

2. What am I looking forward to in life right now?

3. What am I enjoying in my life right now?

4. What I am proud of myself for doing/achieving?

5. What am I thankful for?

6. What have I given today that has created a positive effect?

7. What did I learn today and how will I use it?

8. What can I use from today that will enrich and enhance my life going forwards?

Life is going to happen, mistakes will be made, the future is yet to be written.

You have a choice as to whether you look for the roses or look for the thorns.