We are not our emotions, feelings or thoughts we are the architects of our experiences.

Although some of you may argue against this statement, especially if you feel that you are at the whim of your emotion, thoughts, and feelings.

The concept that emotions thoughts and feelings ‘just happen to us’ is an inaccurate representation and can lead us to become passive in our own lives, a bit like a leaf that is tumbled around in the autumnal winds, never knowing quite where it will end up. Maybe in a muddy murky puddle or maybe floating high in the sky, wherever it lands is not its choice.

We are architects of our own experiences, our own neurophysiology, (which is just a fancy name for mind and body, and you can add soul to this if you like) and we are not at the whim of our environment, other people’s behaviours, or any other external factor. This may be difficult to understand or implement for some, but please stay with me whilst I explain.

Our autonomic nervous system is a component of the peripheral nervous system that regulates involuntary physiologic processes including heart rate, blood pressure, respiration, digestion, and sexual arousal. It contains three anatomically distinct divisions: sympathetic, parasympathetic, and enteric.

What do you need to remember that is important to this blog? - the sympathetic (SNS) and parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).

The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is responsible for creating localised responses such as an increased heart rate, breathing rate, sweating, dilation of pupils and reflex systems in response to an increase in stress (real or perceived) which can mobilise the fight, flight, freeze, fawn/fold response.

In simple terms, it prepares you to stand and fight an enemy, run away or freeze/hide/play dead. It takes less than a millisecond for stress hormones to be released from your adrenal glands and flood your major muscle groups in preparation and switch from creative to reflex thinking, ditch digestion, immune responses, healing, and sex drive. Pretty powerful stuff!

The parasympathetic nervous system (PNS) is responsible for the body's rest and digestion response when the body is relaxed, resting, or feeding. It basically undoes the work of sympathetic division after a stressful situation. The parasympathetic nervous system decreases respiration and heart rate and increases digestion. This is what we need to do more work on to create more harmony and peace within our minds and bodies.

In simple terms, this is the rest and digest, repair and create ‘homeostasis state that we know as being calm, restful or at peace.

I endeavour to teach you how emotions are created from various ‘ingredients’ a ‘recipe’.

In a hope that you can understand that they are doing more than communicating, you are creating reality. This is a process that has a beginning and an end. You have a choice as to what recipe you create with what ingredients.

It has to be said that Mother Nature did not evolve the SNS exclusively to save ancient cave-dwelling humans from sabre-tooth tigers, although this is a story I tell often as it seems relatable when I’m trying to simplify my client’s experience so that they can stop seeing a panic attack or their social anxiety as beyond their means to overcome. The SNS evolved to meet the body’s energy demands to all matter of threats and challenges and opportunities. This means perceived and real threats, situations we are unfamiliar with, challenges we feel ill-equipped for as well as exciting new adventures.

So, what are the answers to actively creating a positive version of reality? Simple – put fuel in the tank, check the tyres, plan the journey, drive sensibly, and avoid the breakdown or car crash.

Nourish your body – get sleep, exercise, fresh air, sunlight, and great food. High-quality nutrition is essential. Avoiding maintenance is an unhealthy choice, like avoiding the washing-up.

This quick exercise can reset the system to parasympathetic relax, rest, and digest, away from the sympathetic fight, flight or freeze/fawn.

Just stop for a few moments, put your feet flat on the floor, allow your spine to be comfortable, then take three slow regular rhythmic, belly (diaphragmatic) breaths.

So, what to do if your SNS is in overdrive? You will know this has probably occurred because you are experiencing things such as anxiety, depression, brain fog, migraines, auto-immune dysfunction, lack of motivation, hopelessness or even chronic fatigue and chronic pain.

The first step is to learn how to still your mind and use it carefully as the overactive, clever mind drives us into difficulties.

Learn mindfulness, reflection, or anything else that works for you.

Connect with beauty and nature, do not just watch electronic screens.

Dance, sing or laugh often!

Have a ‘get out’ plan for difficulties – we use a plan for difficulties such as belts in cars in case of emergency – so let us plan for our own psychological health, too.

Have a toolbox of skills that help you in difficult situations and have lots of them to use.

Practice them, after all, if you do not put your seatbelt on then it is of no use whatsoever!