How do I get myself out of a negative spiral?

Sometimes we get so bogged down by life that we cannot see the wood for the trees. Even the simplest of tasks seem overwhelming and our motivation grinds to a halt.

Then the negative self-talk kicks in which then adds to the feeling of being bogged down, and so the spiral continues – sound familiar?

We have all experienced this in one way or another at some point in our lives. For me that was multiple times through my childhood, teenage years, young adult right through to my forties. Only then did I learn techniques to take change my thoughts, challenge ineffective beliefs, and forge a new path for me that was positive and effective.

Even then, there have been times when I have slowed to an almost standstill, life was never meant to be easy, if it were there would be little or no growth and as a species, we would become stagnant.

So, what do you do if you have lost your mojo, your oomph, your motivation, and life is seemingly harder every step of the way?

I cannot speak for others, but I can share what I did to reverse that destructive cycle with the hope that some of the things I did will also work for you.

1.       I learnt to be kind to myself. If I would not say it to my children, then I did not say it to myself.

2.       I focused on what I had achieved and not what I had not.

3.       I learnt to shout ‘plot twist’ when things went wrong and move on.

4.       I lived by the Serenity Prayer and focused my energies on what I could change.

5.       I got comfortable with failure and saw it as feedback, now I welcome it!

6.       I set myself up for success, creating small goals that I knew I could achieve and made it rewarding.

7.       I learnt how to habit stack/layer, taking a habit that you already do and adding a new one to that habit (see Atomic Habits by James Clear for points 6 and 7)

8.       I got into the habit of reflecting on each week, writing three things that had gone well and 3 things I was going to improve next week (I used the Clever Fox Planner).

9.       I learnt about me, my strengths, my weaknesses. I built on the former and looked to improve the latter.

10.   I became responsible for my own happiness, completely.

These are just some of the things that I have implemented over the years, oh and I began reading the most celebrated self-development books out there, I have still only read a tiny percentage of what is available, but I am much richer in insight as a result. I did not do all of them at once, I chose one, got good at it and then moved on to the next.

What would I recommend someone do if they have completely lost their way?

I would start with the simplest thing that would have a positive change in your life and celebrate succeeding and doing it. If that is brushing your hair or taking a shower than that is good enough. You will quickly notice that your mood improves, when that happens, you feel more able, then you can do more, then you feel better, then you can do more and so the destructive spiral gets reversed.

What one thing are you going to commit to that will instantly make you feel better once you have done it? Then go and do it!