What does puppy training and mindfulness have in common?
This curious simile came up in a recent mindfulness session that I participated in.
If you have ever owned a dog or had friends or family that have, then you will know that training requires some very specific qualities:
Repetition
A congruency of body language, gestures, and tone of voice
Very clear and succinct commands about what is expected
Focusing on the desired behaviour
Rewarding desired behaviours
Ignoring the undesirable behaviour
Redirection of undesired behaviours to desired behaviours
Mindfulness is the skill of fully paying attention to something – a bit like your puppy does when you ask it to sit (with a treat in your hand) and it does. Its focus is first fully paying attention to sitting, then when it has achieved that, the focus of attention goes entirely on that treat.
Mindfulness is training your mind – not to do nothing (as is a common misconception) but do to exactly what you train it to do, consciously.
What if you only trained a puppy like this?
You only speak the word ‘sit’ once or twice a day but expect the puppy to respond.
Sometimes you say ‘sit’, sometimes you say, ‘bottom down’, sometimes you say, ‘take a seat’.
When the puppy sits, you ignore it and carry on as if nothing of note has been achieved, or worse still, you reprimand it.
When the puppy does anything but sit, you reward it.
How successful do you think your puppy training will be based on the above? I’d guess pretty unsuccessful.
If you apply this logic to your own mind, how often do you:
Barely think about what you want to achieve.
Have dreams and desires but no plan of action?
Focus on the negatives, what you’ve got wrong?
Eat some chocolate, drink some gin, buy yourself something, when you’ve had a tough day and rubbish thoughts?
Ignore or delete the good things that have happened in your day or your thoughts.
Allow a torrent of unhelpful and negative memories and thoughts to go unchecked?
We can be mindful of all the wrong things yet expect a good quality of life. The quality of your life is directly linked to the quality of your thoughts.
Mindfulness is about fully paying attention to your thoughts, noticing those that aren’t helpful, and learning to redirect them, without judgement.
What would your quality of life be if you were to:
Repeat the positive thoughts, goals, and achievements you want to achieve.
Be clear and succinct, focusing on what you want rather than what you don’t want.
Focus on the positive thoughts/outcomes you want.
Reward yourself for achieving all positive thoughts/outcomes you achieve. (acknowledging is considered rewarding)
Celebrate the times you think positively.
Ignore unhelpful, unwanted, limiting, or negative thoughts.
Redirect your thoughts when they go astray.
Learn constructive lessons from your mistakes.
The interesting thing about our minds is this. Your mind has no preference as to whether you create a masterpiece or a mess. Your mind will simply make whatever you do most, easier, faster, and more successful, the more you do it.
A few unhelpful thoughts about what you did in the past, repeated often enough, become low self-esteem, which can become depression.
A few ‘what if’ thoughts about the future, left unchecked, can become anxiety.
Train your mind to see the good in everything.
Positivity is a choice.
The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.
Be very mindful of the quality of your thoughts.