Anxiety can spread like wildfire
Anxiety has the potential to spread like wildfire. In the realm of therapy and coaching, we frequently discuss emotional states. Outside of this context, the term 'state' often carries a negative connotation, as in describing someone as being in a dishevelled state. In this article, 'states' encompass all emotional states individuals may find themselves in, including positive, negative, and neutral ones.
States can be incredibly infectious. Have you ever observed a delightful, giggling baby? How do you typically react? Most people instinctively smile back. The act of smiling is contagious, just as laughter is. Viewing states as contagions may seem counter-intuitive but hopefully, by the end of this article, it may lead one to associate them with positive emotions.
States like anger, anxiety, depression, and frustration can also be infectious. Life throws numerous uncertainties and challenges our way, much of which lies beyond our personal control, naturally giving rise to anxiety. This is entirely normal. Anxiety serves a vital purpose – it's designed to keep us alive by alerting us to potential threats. In this sense, anxiety can be helpful.
Yet, for some individuals, anxiety can become an almost unconscious, automatic process that operates in the background. The anxiety process, which has a distinct beginning and end, releases copious stress hormones. These hormones, along with obvious indicators like hurried speech, fidgety movements, and hyper-vigilance, can be picked up by those around us, particularly children.
You may have heard the saying, "Monkey see, monkey do." This phrase accurately captures how children learn. They perceive and interpret the world through their senses, including sight. Children mimic the behaviours of those in their environment, not only the physical actions but also the underlying emotional states they observe, both verbally and non-verbally.
According to neuroscience, up to 93% of communication is non-verbal. This means that both adults and children are constantly attuned to non-verbal cues such as facial expressions, body language, tone, voice speed, pitch, and even hormone levels. Many people possess an innate ability to sense when those around them are in a heightened state of alert, which can, in turn, make them feel anxious.
When this occurs, the person often can't pinpoint why they are feeling so alert. They haven't encountered any direct triggers themselves; they have simply absorbed the anxiety from their surroundings. This further intensifies their anxiety because it introduces an element of confusion. Uncertainty and unpredictability can be catalysts for anxiety, exacerbating the issue.
It's disheartening when individuals who are now grappling with anxiety and its enduring consequences, such as depression, OCD, tics, and phobias, believe they can't make lasting improvements. They attribute their struggles to external influences and add feelings of guilt and failure to their initial anxiety.
The techniques and strategies I teach are rooted in neuroscience, originally designed for adults. I have adapted these methods to be equally applicable to both adults and children, regardless of age. My goal is to impart skills and strategies that empower individuals to overcome anxiety, boost confidence, and nurture resilience—regardless of their age.
Some simple strategies you can implement to learn how to manage your own anxieties may include:
Learn deep breathing techniques to calm the nervous system – be patient and curious to find out what works for you: Any technique that has a longer out breath than the in breath will reset your nervous system but be patient as this can take time to master.
Guided visualisations designed to create inner calm: Find a guided visualisation that allows you to immerse yourself in the experience and switch off completely.
Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense and then release different muscle groups in your body to relieve physical tension associated with anxiety. Focus on the release and find new levels of release the more you practice.
Mindfulness and Meditation: Engage in mindfulness meditation to stay present and reduce worry about the future. Apps like Headspace and Calm can guide you through meditation exercises.
Healthy Lifestyle: Maintain a balanced diet, regular exercise routine, and get enough sleep. Physical health and mental health are closely connected.
Limit Stimulants: Reduce or eliminate caffeine and alcohol consumption, as they can exacerbate anxiety symptoms as can sugar and sweeteners.
Stay Hydrated: Dehydration can contribute to feelings of anxiety, so ensure you're drinking enough water throughout the day.
Set Realistic Goals: Avoid setting unrealistic expectations for yourself, and break larger tasks into smaller, manageable steps.
Time Management: Create a schedule or to-do list to help you stay organised and reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed.
Limit Exposure to Stressors: Identify and limit exposure to situations or people that trigger your anxiety wherever possible.
Seek Support: Talk to a friend, family member, or therapist about your anxiety. Sometimes, sharing your thoughts and feelings can provide significant relief.
Focus on the positives: Keep a journal to focus on positive aspects of your life, even during challenging times. As humans, we have a negative bias and taking actionable steps to redress this imbalance can help keep anxiety and depression at bay.
Limit Information Overload: Reduce exposure to constant news and social media updates, which can contribute to anxiety.
Challenge your ‘What If’ thoughts: Identify, challenge and change thought patterns that contribute to anxiety, they usually start with ‘What If’ and what comes next is mostly fairly catastrophic and unlikely to happen.
Self-Care: Engage in self-care activities you enjoy, whether it's reading, taking baths, spending time in nature, or pursuing hobbies.
Acceptance: Remember that anxiety is a normal human emotion. Instead of trying to eliminate it completely, focus on managing and living with it in a healthy way.
If you recognise that you or your child is struggling with anxiety and you wish to seek guidance on how to overcome it, cultivate confidence, and find inner calm, please don't hesitate to reach out.