Domestic Violence Awareness
Domestic violence or abuse can happen to both men and women. If you’ve lived with it for a while, it is likely that you have become numb to it, even making excuses for the brainwashed notion that you are at fault somehow.
Signs of domestic violence and abuse can include the following (but are not limited to):
Physical abuse: This includes any form of physical violence or harm, such as hitting, punching, kicking, slapping, or any other type of physical aggression.
Emotional abuse: Emotional abuse involves behaviours aimed at undermining an individual's self-worth or self-esteem. It can include constant criticism, humiliation, insults, or controlling behaviour.
Sexual abuse: This type of abuse involves any non-consensual sexual activity or any form of sexual coercion, including sexual assault or rape.
Financial abuse: Financial abuse occurs when an abuser controls a victim's finances, limiting their access to money, withholding financial information, or preventing them from working or accessing financial resources.
Psychological abuse: Psychological abuse can involve threats, intimidation, or manipulation, causing the victim to fear for their safety or well-being. It can include constant monitoring, isolation from friends and family, or extreme possessiveness.
Stalking: Stalking is a form of abuse that involves persistent unwanted attention or harassment, such as following the victim, monitoring their activities, or sending persistent and unwanted messages.
Digital abuse: With the rise of technology, digital abuse has become increasingly common. It includes using technology to intimidate, harass, or control a victim, such as monitoring their online activity, sending threatening messages, or spreading private information without consent.
Isolation: Abusers often attempt to isolate their victims from friends, family, or any form of support system to maintain control over them.
Domestic abuse is all about power and control.
These forms of power and control can be instigated by either men or women. Usually, if demands or desires are not met then the behaviour escalates.
There is nothing to be gained by apportioning blame - the best thing to do is to acknowledge and accept that the relationship is an unhealthy one. Both parties need to be open and willing to make changes for change to occur.
There is a lot of misconception about what constitutes domestic violence, it is not always about physical abuse. Emotional and psychological abuse counts for a lot of domestic abuse and because the effects are ‘invisible’ it can be harder to prove.
If you suspect that you are a victim of abuse then please contact the helplines listed below.
THEY DIDN'T HIT ME
They just went through my phone every time I was in the shower.
Provoking fights that would last for hours.
Always apologising but the apology always had me to blame.
THEY DIDN'T HIT ME
They just hated on my friends and family making it awkward for me to spend time with them.
They told me my friends and family were no good.
They were always good at reminding me how unworthy I was.
If I spoke to a member of the opposite sex, I was being flirty or I wanted to sleep with them.
They laughed and told me that nobody else would ever love me.
They made me feel useless and ugly.
THEY DIDN'T HIT ME
They would just break things that were precious to me if I dared to go out without them.
They would become aggressive when I got home, shouting and accusing me.
They would go through my messages, picking up on anything that might be perceived as me being unfaithful.
THEY DIDN'T HIT ME
They just wouldn't listen when I said no.
Every day just stealing a little bit more of who I used to be.
They would criticise my appearance and my choices.
Calling me stupid, every day chipping away at my resilience.
THEY DIDN'T HIT ME
They would just threaten to end their own life if I ever tried to leave.
THEY DIDN'T HIT ME
They just made me hate myself and disrespect myself every day.
The thought of leaving was just too frightening, too much of an ordeal.
THEY DIDN'T HIT ME
Until one day, they overheard a call.
Hearing I was leaving......
THEY DIDN'T HIT ME - UNTIL THEY DID
October is #DomesticViolenceAwarenessMonth whether you are a man or a woman, domestic violence can happen to you.
For women experiencing domestic violence or abuse
https://www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk/
For men experiencing domestic violence or abuse
https://mensadviceline.org.uk/
https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/contact-samaritan