Learning to manage anger better - top tips for adults and children alike

Learning to manage anger better involves a combination of self-awareness, recognising triggers, implementing cognitive-behavioural techniques, and practising healthy coping mechanisms. Children learn to manage their emotions during their childhood and learn from the people around them. Anger can be expressed outwardly and inwardly (meltdowns).

Here are some signs that you are or are getting angry:

  1. Raising your voice: If you find yourself shouting or raising your voice during a conversation, it could be a sign that you are angry.

  2. Physical reactions: Getting angry can also trigger physical reactions such as sweating, increased heart rate, trembling, and even tears.

  3. Aggressive body language: If you start to use aggressive body language such as pointing fingers, clenching fists, or standing too close to the other person, it could be a sign that you are angry.

  4. Interrupting others: Interrupting others or not allowing them to speak their mind is another sign that you may be angry.

  5. Insults and name-calling: If you start to use insults or name-calling during a conversation, it is a clear indication that you are angry.

  6. Inability to listen: When you get angry, it can be difficult to listen to the other person's point of view or perspective.

  7. Difficulty controlling your emotions: If you find yourself unable to control your emotions or reactions, it could be a sign that you are angry.

It is essential to recognise these signs and take steps to manage your emotions before they escalate further.

Looking at this picture for 10 seconds or more will create a sense of calm.


Here are some steps you can take:

  1. Recognise your triggers: Identify what situations or events make you angry or cause you to lose your temper. Keep a journal or note when you experience anger, and try to identify patterns.

  2. Take a break: When you feel yourself getting angry, take a few deep breaths, count to ten, or step away from the situation. This can help you avoid reacting impulsively and losing your temper completely.

  3. Reframe your thoughts: Challenge negative or unhelpful thoughts that contribute to your anger. For example, instead of thinking, "this is unfair," try to reframe it as, "this is a difficult situation, but I can handle it."

  4. Practice relaxation techniques: Regular practice of techniques such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or guided meditation can help you calm down when you feel angry.

  5. Use "I" statements: When expressing your anger to others, use "I" statements to avoid blaming or accusing them. For example, say "I feel upset when this happens" instead of "You always do this to me."

  6. Seek support: Consider talking to a therapist, coach or counsellor to learn additional anger management skills and techniques.

Remember that managing anger is a process and may take time and practice. Be patient with yourself and celebrate small successes along the way.

Nikki Emerton

Developing Mind, Body and Gut

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