It's OK to feel overwhelmed and vulnerable

Dealing with uncertainty and change

As humans, we tend to prefer things to stay the same. We like order, predictability and consistency. Most of us can cope with a certain amount of unexpected events and change, and some people even thrive when things feel uncertain or unpredictable.

The difference between thriving in an ever-changing world and floundering often comes down to whether we view uncertainty as a threat or a challenge. When faced with constantly shifting situations or problems, it is easy to become overwhelmed and to feel helpless or inadequate.

Someone who thrives in uncertainty often enjoys the challenge of generating creative ideas and finding ways to make something work. Someone who struggles will naturally look for obstacles, problems, potential issues and the likelihood of failure.

Our response to uncertainty is rooted in a primal instinct designed to keep us alive by scanning for threats. Some describe this as the rational, analytical right-brain approach, which focuses on examining what could go wrong, drawing on past negative experiences while overlooking the positives. This creates an expectation of negative or catastrophic outcomes.

This way of thinking keeps a person stuck in a cycle of perceived threat and the familiar fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses. With each new uncertain situation, the belief that everything goes wrong becomes more ingrained, reinforcing a focus on problems rather than solutions.

Those who have moved beyond this outdated instinct have learned to use a different style of thinking, often considered the creative left-brain approach.

This approach differs in several key ways. When faced with something new, uncertain or changeable, the thought process looks like this:

• How many possible ways can I think of to resolve or overcome this, without judging or analysing the ideas, however unusual they seem?
• Which of these ideas is viable, and which viable option is most likely to work?
• Which is the best option? Then let me do that.

For people who thrive in uncertainty, this happens within seconds. They have trained their minds so this becomes an automatic response. It feels effortless, enjoyable and inspiring, which further enhances creativity and solution-focused thinking.

If this process is unfamiliar, it will feel awkward at first. It will take effort and you may need to write your ideas down. Allow yourself 10 to 20 minutes initially. With practice, it will become much quicker.

You will also notice an immediate urge to dismiss ideas with thoughts such as "that will not work". This is completely normal. That automatic judgement is part of what keeps you stuck in anxiety around uncertainty and change.

Your judgement has become an autopilot system that always leads to the belief that everything goes wrong. It is quick, familiar and well-practised. Just as others have trained themselves to generate solutions, you have become highly skilled at spotting problems, even within solutions.

To interrupt this negative judgement pattern, imagine playing hide and seek. In this version of the game, the negative judgement is the saboteur hiding from you. Once you find the hider, the game is over. Similarly, once you notice the judgemental response in a lighthearted way, your brain shifts from analytical right-brain mode into creative, solution-focused left-brain thinking. The judgement loses its power.

You can even give this judgemental autopilot a name. It may be time for it to take a long holiday.

Whenever you sense panic, overwhelm or helplessness in an uncertain situation, pause and take the following steps:

• Write down as many creative ideas as you can for solving the problem or finding a way forward.
• Each time you hear the dismissive inner voice, say aloud, "I see you. Game over."
• Look at your list and identify the ideas that are viable.
• Choose the most promising option.
• Take action.

Of course, remember to apply reasonableness and ecological checks to ensure that any idea or action is safe, sensible and aligned with who you are and your environment.

A saying that helped me shift from problem-focused thinking to a creative, solution-focused mindset is this:
You can only make the best decision you can at the time you make it, based on the information, knowledge, experience and understanding you have in that moment.

That is all any of us are doing. Making the best decisions we can with what we have.

If new information or understanding appears, simply repeat the process.